Sometimes when it comes to the matters of the heart,i love to walk away from it because the moment you think you know it all, thats the moment you realise you are so wrong.
As regards the subject matter, there are many dimensions to love but very importantly i would say love has signs and its heavily based on the expression.One very palpable thing about love i know is that it is very showy. It always wants to announce to the world because physcologically a mind or heart in love is bound to expression, scientist even reveal a number of hormones revealed
And it has to be said there is an hormone call down in the process of love
Stage 1: Lust
This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.
Stage 2: Attraction
This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.
Helen Fisher asked newly ‘love struck’ couples to have their brains examined and discovered they have high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine. This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine!
Fisher suggests “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship” .
And finally, serotonin. One of love’s most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.
Does love change the way you think?
A landmark experiment in Pisa, Italy showed that early love (the attraction phase) really changes the way you think.
Dr Donatella Marazziti, a psychiatrist at the University of Pisa advertised for twenty couples who’d been madly in love for less than six months. She wanted to see if the brain mechanisms that cause you to constantly think about your lover, were related to the brain mechanisms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
By analysing blood samples from the lovers, Dr Marazitti discovered that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients.
Love needs to be blind
Newly smitten lovers often idealise their partner, magnifying their virtues and explaining away their flaws says Ellen Berscheid, a leading researcher on the psychology of love.
New couples also exalt the relationship itself. “It’s very common to think they have a relationship that’s closer and more special than anyone else’s”. Psychologists think we need this rose-tinted view. It makes us want to stay together to enter the next stage of love – attachment.
Stage 3: Attachment
Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.
Oxytocin – The cuddle hormone
Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm.
It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.
Oxytocin also seems to help cement the strong bond between mum and baby and is released during childbirth. It is also responsible for a mum’s breast automatically releasing milk at the mere sight or sound of her young baby.
With all of these processes you would appreciate the transition of love.so let me share my experience i have dated quite a few and i would tell you strongly that the patterns are almost the same across board except for 1 difference which i would talk about later.
Most of the women i have dated, from the very first time or as time goes on, I realised and they expressed it ,if they wanted to stay,although they did it in different ways,some would form in Nigerian parlance and first act very hard to get but if you are persistent.then she become yours,that is irrespective of what she says.pls keep asking( thats what i would tell you).The only different case i had was a lady that had been abused and all she wanted was to do the do.which i felt was something wasnt right,finally i discovered she had an incurable STD but not AIDS.but through it all she is a good girl, just the circumstances of life.
The other patterns i noticed was really instructive and that is, even if the lady is still forming, she would still answer your calls and act right (a little bit). So what i know true love is
1. True love is patient to build and understands
2. It sees hope more than circumstances
3.It adores and almost never dies, it could go on hibernation or sometimes it is latent.
What true love is not!
1.It stays. If somebody doesnt want to be with you, pls dont force them because,we have the power of choice.if you force them they would betray you.
2.It respects,if someone loves you and disrespects you, that is not love.it is something else far from love.
3.It hurts.because it comes with a lot of expectations on the way the other person wants to be treated and if there is a void,it would hurt,so deep but in the hurt resilience is built.
So i pray this helps you and you find love!