Lauretta Onochie, the personal assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari on social media, has listed some of the sad incidents and speculations that trailed the Nigerian leader’s absence from Nigeria for 52 days.

Lauretta Onochie lists events that took place while Buhari was in London

Lauretta Onochie told Buhari all that happened and how news spread that Osinbajo was being forced to resign

Buhari was on medical leave while Vice President Yemi Osinbajo acted on his behalf. The president returned to the country in the early hours of Friday, March 10.

The president returned to Nigeria very early on Friday, March 10, 2017 with jubilations and celebrations by his supporters.

While Buhari was away, top officials of the government made frantic efforts to douse tension and deny news that the president had died or was in a vegetative state.

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“Welcome back home Mr President. We are delighted to have you back,” Onochie said adding that Buhari’s return had shamed the administration’s detractors and put paid to the rumour about the president’s health.

Read Onochie’s list of incidents that happened behind Buhari:

1. While you were away, PDP, that gang of looters that turned Boko Haram into their ATM, joined forces with Biafrauds. They started a rumour.

2. Hmm. They said you died in Germany. The next day, they said you died again in London. Three days later, hallelujah! You rose from the dead! They are not done.

3. Your doctor issued you a stern warning to resign the wonderful work you are doing as the president of this great nation. And when you refused to resign, your doctor put you on a life support machine! Hahaha!

4. Two days later, they said “CNN-ALIVE”, confirmed that you died again. They were the only ones who heard the news.

5. They were the only ones too, who had access to your hospital room and your medical records. They shared them on the Social Media. Hahaha!

6. You are an enigma, a colossus Sir. The only one recorded in the history of the world to have died three times in a week and still returned to Nigeria to pilot the affairs of our nation.

We are loyal Sir!

7. Talking about loyalty, we heard little or nothing from certain close quarters. There were subtle friendly fires and absolute silence too. We will discuss those ones later.

8. But the chairman of APGA, yes APGA rose in your defence chiding those who spread the evil false rumour that you had died. Even Chief Tony Anenih was very sad about the evil rumour. Hmm, there could be life after PDP!

9. They also started the rumour that our able acting president was being pressured to resign. Haha! These olodos were re-enacting what happened when the late Pres Yar ‘Adua passed since they have nothing original.

10. All these really upset Buharists across the world. They bombarded us with phone calls and messages. We reassured them that you have a destiny to straighten out our crooked and messed up nation and that you will be back to continue that work.

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11. We also let them know that although they have been lied to in the past, you will never lie to them about the state of your health. They prayed to God to heal you, even though the acting president reassured us you were hale and hearty.

12. Tarry nights by pentecostals, mass by Catholics and vigils by other Christians were held across the nation. We were invited to many.

13. Moslems across the nation have continued too, to render supplications to Allah on your behalf.

14.Individuals prayed.

15. Many states and local government areas organised prayers and thanksgiving for your life too. Youth organisations were not left out!

16. And Baba it’s true, host oil communities declared fasting and prayers for three days for you. Awww, how very sweet of them. So it’s not true that we Niger Deltans do not like you. It’s our thieves who underdeveloped our region who hate your guts!

17. While you were away too, hmmm, TuFace, that Nigerian international singer went astray. He entered an unholy alliance with PDP. He said he was going to protest your policies.

18. I asked him to tell Nigerians the policies he was not happy about. For five days, I challenged him to name one policy on national TV.

19. Baba, it turned out that he did not know any of your policies. He started to develop cold feet and your good friends, Gov Fayose of Ekiti state, and Deji Adeyanju jumped in.

20. But the night before the so called protest, TuFace did the right thing and dumped the PDP protest. He repented.

21. Many other good things happened under our acting president, Prof Yemi Osinbajo. They even tried to harass him but he concentrated on the good work both of you are doing for the reconstruction of our nation.

22. You will like this one, sir. Some mischievous PDP leaders became jealous that some people visited you and that you phoned some people while in the UK. So they also wanted to come and see you. We just laughed.

23. When you were going, you told us where you going to. You handed power, properly to your able vice. And what you will be doing, you told us.

24. When you needed an extension, you did not hide it from us.

25. When it was time to return too, you announced it to us. You have been open, sincere and honest with Nigerians. Thank you sir. We love you sir.

“Hey, looters and your agents and merchants of hatred, our president is back. Hale, hearty, three times resurrected and alive. Ma Su Gudu Su Gudu!”